The fortune in my fortune cookie . . . .

So we get Chinese food tonight for dinner and as always, I open my fortune cookie after I finish my meal and read my fortune . . . . . but before I share what it said, it got me to thinking .... What do we really think about these fortunes we get in these little cookies?  Do we take them seriously and to heart or do we look at them like wishful thinking or something to actually hope for?  I found out last week when I went to lunch with some of the girls from work that they like to each read their fortunes aloud and end it with "in the bedroom".  It made for some good laughs and some of them brought up some interesting conversations....we are talking about a table full of women here.  :-) 

Anyway, on to the fortune I got tonight, it read:  "Your most memorable dream will come true." (in the bedroom....hehe.  I like the sound of that.  Although that pretty much has come true for me already, but I definitely have a few more dreams that I would like to come true in there . . . . ok, enough of all that, let's get back on track.)  So "Your most memorable dream will come true", I have to admit, this made me want to "believe" that these fortunes are real and true....and then I got to thinking what is my most "memorable" dream?  And would that be a dream in my sleep state or those awake dreams we have for our lives or for the lives of those we love and care about?  Both of these types can be the same, but can also be very different.  What is a "dream"?  I believe it was Disney that said, "A dream is a wish your heart makes" ..... I've always loved that saying and I believe it's true in the sleeping or awake dream.  We should always have dreams . . . . I believe it helps us to feel alive and can keep you going with a purpose, even when life is unsure or gets you down. 

My "dreams" have sure changed over the years ..... 27 years ago when my school life was coming to a close, some of my dreams are still the same and some were soooo much different than they are now.  I started out like a lot of people dreaming of love, marriage and kids.....got married, had a beautiful daughter, got divorced, dated, dated, and dated some more, fell in love and then it fell apart. Now alone again looking to an uncertain future, but still dreaming of sharing my life and growing old with that special someone.  The dream of being a mother did come true and I couldn't be happier about that.  She had made a lot of my dreams come true.  She is an incredible young lady now and lots of my dreams are for her and her future.  Another dream as I left the security of those school doors was a dream of the perfect job that I would be great at and enjoy what I did.  I had several things I though I wanted to do, but it didn't turn out quite like I had dreamed it would.  I've worked since I was 15, and was always good at what I did, but still looking to make that dream come true.  Well six years ago I left the job I had been comfortable and secure at for 10 years to take a chance on that dream job.  It was a job that I had dreamed of doing for a living for about 14 years or more.  Unfortunately, that blew up after about 6 months and definitely affected me in all kinds of negitive ways.  It made me very scared and unsure of what I would do with me life.  Got another job that was fine, but after 2 1/2 years, I get laid off and my world came crashing down.  Makes it hard to dream of anything again, but I will keep dreaming.  I will hold on to some of the same ones I've had for years and I will find new ones.  To dream and believe is to live.  And always remember to tell God your dreams.  Pray daily for the strength, knowledge and wisdom to pursue those dreams and that they will be the dreams that God wants for us.

WOW!  All of that from a little piece of paper inside of a funny shaped cookie.  Looking forward to what the next fortune cookie has in store for me. :-)  Happy dreaming!!!

Matters of the Heart

Matters of the Heart . . . . Definitely not something than I'm an "expert" at .... no degrees here .... Although I have been schooled in the biggest and harshest classroom out there -- it's called "real life experiences".   We all have our own ways of handling "matters of the heart".  Truth is, there's really no right or wrong answer to this very complex issue.  We've all asked that age old question at least once in our lives .... "What is love?" or "What is true, unconditional love?" ---  There are other "types" of love that are wonderful but I believe can get us a bit confused at times....such as romantic love, comforting love, sisterly/brotherly love, friendship love and I'm sure we could come up with some more.  Our hearts also deal with anger, hurt, betrayal, loyalty..... With all of that, it's no wonder our hearts can get confused sometimes.  Who do we trust?, What do we do?, where do we go?, how do we make it better?  Unfortunately it's up to us to determine what it all means and what we do with it.  Thankfully for me, I choose to try and use God and the Bible as my guideline to what He says is true, real love.  How He says we should handle anger, betrayal, etc.  It's not always easy to see or do what God directs us to, that's why He puts people in our lives to help point things out to us, to share in our joys and excitement, to help us through those tough times and decisions. 

Matters of the Heart can bring us some of our happiest times and can bring us to our lowest low.  Opening up and giving our heart completely to someone is one of the scariest, vulnerable things we can do.  The trust and faith that you have to have to give someone the gift of your heart is not to be taken lightly.  And as the recipient of that gift, you shouldn't take it lightly either.  Every time you give it away you risk it being returned, mistreated or not taken care of.   We can build up walls that can take years to bring down --- that I speak from experience.  After my first marriage failed, I thought I would never love again.  My heart was so damaged by all the lies, betrayal and hurt, I just couldn't imagine ever risking my heart again.  Everyone takes different amounts of time to heal and move on, there's not set amount of time that makes it all better.  When I finally put myself out there again, it was really hard.  Could I trust what my heart felt for someone again? Could I trust my mind?  My gut or friends or family to help steer me in the right direction?  Thankfully I turned to God for all of that and it doesn't mean that everything was perfect and that love just fell into my lap, or that I didn't get hurt again.  I've still had my share of emotional rollercoaster rides and uncertainty.  I know I don't want to spend my life without someone to enjoy it with -- but who do I trust with the gift of my heart?  I chose to let God lead me where he wants me & who's life I should be in & who I should love in all the different formats of love.  It's not an easy road & I definitely don't always understand the twist & turns & detours --- and I still get hurt & angry & confused.  But what I do know is that the ability to love is the greatest gift that God has given us and I will never take that for granted again. 

If there's one thing that my parents taught me by example was to love with all your heart and show that love to one another often, cause you never know when it will be your last.  Life is short & happiness is there for the taking.  Don't spend your valuable time looking back cause we can't change any of past......what's ahead is what you have to look forward to and still have some control over.  So my final thought on "Matters of the Heart" is simple:  take care of your heart, respect all that it handle and most of all allow your heart love like there's no tomorrow and never take for granted that wonderful gift that God gave you.

It's a new year....

It's a new year ..... so it's a perfect time to try something new, right?  One of those new things for me is the world of blogging.  I've heard about blogging for years now, but just never considered it until a special friend in my life expressed interest in starting his own blog to help get his music out there for the world to hear.  He then told me he thought I should start a blog of my own because he thought I wrote well (not so sure I agree with that) and that I would have plenty to say.  I think that was his polite way of telling me I talk to much and maybe his ears needed a rest.....hehe.  So I decided to take a look at what it was all about and here I am, writing my first blog at 12:55 am, when I should really be in my bed sleeping, so I'll be rested for work tomorrow.  With that said, I will end my first blog now.  Wishing everyone out there a very Happy New Year and make sure you find at least one thing every day to be thankful for.